I learned something new this weekend. What Android categorizes as "screaming" (as in "The Czar was screaming for two hours before he finally went to sleep") is actually "crying/fussing".
For MONTHS I've been coming home to "Oh, man. He was screaming his head off the whole time you were gone." or some variation on a theme... and The Czar was actually just fussing like a NORMAL FREAKING BABY.
I called him on it this weekend - "That's what you call screaming? That's not screaming! Are you kidding me?"
Screaming is when his face turns beet red and looks like it may actually take flight and/or explode. Screaming is when your eardrums become punctured if you come within three feet of him. Screaming is when you question your will to live or start researching how much you can get for a baby on the black market.
Look, don't get me wrong, he is a wonderful husband and father...
But if I hear one more thing about the baby "screaming" I will smite him where he stands.
The New PostSecret Book
3 years ago